Now that I'm going into another stage in my life, I am anxious almost all of the time. During normal activities, I start thinking that I'm not doing enough things to earn my keep in my new home. Sometimes I think my significant other will leave me if I don't have my life together within a week. Logically I understand that kind of thinking is unhealthy. Emotionally I tell my brain to shut the fuck up.
Throughout the summer, I had been seeing a therapist. Because there is a super black woman complex, I was ashamed that I couldn't just pray, take a nap and do what I needed to do. However after many strong suggestions and sleep deprived nights, I got into an Uber and sat down on that comfy couch to cry in front of a stranger. Despite how that may sound, it's enlightening. Paying someone a set amount every week to hear them tell you how to breathe was strangely soothing. This was after feeling like an idiot for breathing wrong during stressful situations.
The lesson for today is to have the strength to walk away and take a breath from time to time. Life is not all sunrises and rainbows. When that becomes too much to bear, inhale. You were probably holding your breath anyway.