Step 16: Let It Go

Grudges are for those that insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.
— Criss Jami

I'm petty. It's only been a secret to myself. I've had to come to terms with knowing that I like seeing my enemies in pain because of something I did on a small scale. Or something that I didn't do. I like seeing them stub a toe. I like seeing them spill a drink. I like seeing them fight with friends or a significant other. It's one of my worst traits and it fuels my ability to hold grudges.

What's that quote about swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die? That's what it's like when we don't let anything go. When we don't let go, it hurts us. Meanwhile, whoever you're mad at walks around your fetal positioned body like "what happened to them?"

If you're holding on to resentments, ask yourself how it's benefiting you. No one is judging you here so be honest with yourself. What are you really getting out of not being cool with someone because of something they did a while ago? Do you even remember what they did? If you do, is it unforgivable? Then don't worry about someone who would treat you that way. I'm not saying try to be friends with them again. They already showed you who they are. Try to consider how much energy you're putting into this person.

I'm in the process of identifying someone who isn't good for me. He's starting to drain me and people I trust have more or less given him his walking papers. They said he reminds them of a former friend who would have a similar effect on me. It's sad because 1) I thought I would have attracted better people to be a part of my life by now. And 2) I started thinking of ways to get back at him. See how the petty creeps back in?

The lesson for today (because yes I'm bringing this back. What can I say? It's a good way of wrapping everything up) is to let grudges fall away from you. Cast it away like a persistent pimple. Because really, what's the point of giving them the power you could be using to improve yourself?

Evon Williams

Washington, DC

Lover. Writer. Budding PR/Marketing Consultant. Emotional and Mental Growth enthusiast. Sex Positive Supporter.

You can find me @goddessevon on most social media sites.