On some non creepy shit, I like to disappear. To become a ghost of some sorts. Physically it's easy and hard. On one hand, I'm short and quiet. This allows me to blend into crowds very easily. On the other hand, I have big natural hair and brown skin. Where I like to go, the locals don't always appreciate me. You can read my thoughts on that here. I take pride in the fact that most people didn't even know I went to my college until my second year there. When I spoke up in class, I was always greeted with looks of confusion. My mother put bells on my feet as a child because she rarely heard me coming. How I managed to do that as 2 year old, Lord knows.
Now, I'm seen and heard. Now I ask to stay connected to employers who turn me down on LinkedIn. Now my voice doesn't shake when I speak. And that's all because I started, as simply as this sounds, talking.
I'm embarrassed to say that this will probably be a life-long lesson for me to learn. There are sometimes when I stop opening my mouth. When I feel like what I have to say is not important. That I'm not good enough for anyone's attention. I do what seems right. I shut down. But I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to shut up! You know why? Because my words are awe inspiring and unique. At least that's what my confidence is telling me.
So the lesson for today is to speak. Not only when spoken to, but first. Strike up a conversation. For shit's sake, say hi to the person you've been staring at for the past 20 minutes. The worst they can say is "No, I'm not interested." The most remarkable thing is that you don't die afterward. You just go on about your day.