You Are Not Mine [Vol. 5]

You were eager like I used to be. 16 was the time of overindulging and man did I! I was addicted to having someone on my arm. My previous boyfriends ran my heart ragged so when I met you, your advances were dismissed. I couldn't risk potential pain again. But your persistence made me do something I vowed not to do: trust.

You didn't make me feel like I had to hide from you. I didn't have to shed myself down to fit into the idea of the girl you wanted. You slid me into your life as if it were my rightful throne. Even though my crown was dented and scuffed, you treasured my gold with no reservations. And I couldn't help but do the same for you.

But no young love exists without pain. As we matured, the ease of our relationship turned into choppy waters filled with arguments and misunderstandings. We weren't ready and instead of taking that in stride, we let our relationship wash away. So I explored parts of life without you. I tapped into the teen version of myself and started sampling again. Guy after guy came through my life and none had the energy I craved.

I tried but it never worked with them. And they knew about you. No matter how often I would snuff out your name to my temporary beaus, your legacy echoed through the hallways of my relationships. They couldn't measure up to your glory and to be honest, you never left my heart. I took that sign and took you hand in marriage. I merged my life with yours not so you could be mine, but so that we could be something new. I'm glad you never gave up back then. It gives me the courage to choose you everyday.

Evon Williams

Lover. Writer. Freelancer. Emotional and Mental Growth enthusiast. Sex Positive Supporter.

You can find me @goddessevon on most social media sites.