Forgive me Lord, for I haven’t been honest with myself.
Or anyone for that matter.
If it’s OK with You, I’d like to confess.
I’m scared that I will not handle living up to my potential.
Sometimes I feel guilty for letting my quirks come through.
When my depression takes its hold on me, I lie about how long it took me to get out of bed. I don’t want people to worry that I’m drowning in my own mind.
I have this maybe irrational fear of everyone leaving me.
I have 4 states worth of rage and alcoholism coursing through my veins that I fight every day. I counteract that with passive aggression.
I have this habit of leaving my responsibilities to get dusty when I feel overwhelmed.
I find myself up at unholy hours wasting time on the past.
It's easier to close myself off sometimes because the only person I disappointed that day directly was me.
And there are times when I turn my worries into breathless crying sessions. It's a twisted kind of skill.
Thank You for listening. Maybe one day I will be a better Christian and tell the truth more often. Because I gotta shame the devil.