I used to love the mystery to you. The way I couldn't quite pin you down.
How you were down the street one day and in another state the next.
The well known two way connection left me with a busy tone when I needed you most.
You were the most beautiful butterfly in my life.
Oh how impressionable I was then.
I was able to love you through the disappointments. I thought maybe this will make me stronger. It will make him stay this time.
What stopped you from running completely? Was it the few distant memories of your absentee father? Were you afraid of not falling far from his tree? Was it your drive to persevere despite the challenges?
It's clear now that you never wanted this role.
Daddy was too much to bear. The courage to stay grounded for your children is a lost art. But how can I blame you knowing that you have wanderlust in your veins? You love to explore places that don't remind you of your responsibilities.
In the end, my brother and I became your ball and chain. I feel betrayed every time your phone is voluntarily cut off. You said you would always be here for us.
I guess you stay true to who you are.
Loners don't need families.
You were eager like I used to be. 16 was the time of overindulging and man did I! I was addicted to having someone on my arm.
You were the first person I wanted to make a forever with. You gave me hope that we could grow into our roles as soulmates. I actually called you my soulmate, well not to your face. I had just met you in computer class and we couldn't legally go on a field trip without permission let alone try to forge a union.
Give me commands. Clear guidelines. An itemized list of your needs.
You were exactly what I asked for. A carbon copy straight out of my mind. I should have been more careful.
When I tell you I love you, it doesn't mean we go together now. It doesn't mean I want your children. It doesn't mean I need to meet your family. I love you means I love who you are as a person. I have surpassed like and landed on love.
If you could, please disregard the previous letter left on your pillow. That has too much hubris dripping. Too much anger. Too many other emotions that negatively influenced the creation of that notice.
This is your eviction notice. Your placeholder, an unattainable musician, is helping me move your memories. Not sure where they'll go but at this point, I don't want to know.
I'm sick of the men in their feelings and not knowing how harmful and/or annoying they are with them.
You could be a better man, slay dragons, discover the greatest side of yourself. I could put you on the path of soul repair. I'm the kind of woman who makes real power players. I could be your Claire, Mr. Underwood.