You will not make me feel bad for choosing myself. You can no longer have that power over me. You haven’t earned it and I’m tired of handing it over to you. You cannot ransom my time and happiness to alleviate your sorrows. My shoulders are too sore for doing it for so long.
You cannot use your maladjusted feelings for other family members to make me do your bidding. I will not be on anyone’s side. Everyone is wrong but no one wants to right the situations. It is no longer my job to do so.
I refuse to fix you. I refuse to fix you. I refuse to fix you.
While the guilt is strong in me, it will no longer bend to you. I will not bend to you. I have a responsibility to myself and to what I build. If you want to be apart of that, make the steps. Come out of your comfort zone the way I’ve always had to. If that is too much for you to even imagine, keep your desires away from me.
Your selfishness is no longer welcome here.
The woman who’s had enough
You were eager like I used to be. 16 was the time of overindulging and man did I! I was addicted to having someone on my arm.
You were the first person I wanted to make a forever with. You gave me hope that we could grow into our roles as soulmates. I actually called you my soulmate, well not to your face. I had just met you in computer class and we couldn't legally go on a field trip without permission let alone try to forge a union.
Give me commands. Clear guidelines. An itemized list of your needs.
You were exactly what I asked for. A carbon copy straight out of my mind. I should have been more careful.
When I tell you I love you, it doesn't mean we go together now. It doesn't mean I want your children. It doesn't mean I need to meet your family. I love you means I love who you are as a person. I have surpassed like and landed on love.
If you could, please disregard the previous letter left on your pillow. That has too much hubris dripping. Too much anger. Too many other emotions that negatively influenced the creation of that notice.
This is your eviction notice. Your placeholder, an unattainable musician, is helping me move your memories. Not sure where they'll go but at this point, I don't want to know.
I'm sick of the men in their feelings and not knowing how harmful and/or annoying they are with them.
You could be a better man, slay dragons, discover the greatest side of yourself. I could put you on the path of soul repair. I'm the kind of woman who makes real power players. I could be your Claire, Mr. Underwood.