Everyday is an argument with my hips.
My ass and thighs are instigators. Every article of clothing, a debate ensues. Dresses and skirts are valid reasons to worry about the view from behind.
It would be unfair to flash the world my family heirlooms. All pairs of jeans hug me for dear life. There's no need for padded jeans when I have portable pillows for a backside.
With every step more eyes follow the way my hips sway. Older women chastising me for the uncontrollable, smaller women tossing envy coated daggers, I am the controversy by being present.
All this fuss over my, to the white gaze oversized, to the brown gaze heavenly, body.
But please, savor every stare. Turn me into your favorite dish and try to swallow me whole.
If you try, you'll realize that you need a drink to handle something this thick.
You were eager like I used to be. 16 was the time of overindulging and man did I! I was addicted to having someone on my arm.
You were the first person I wanted to make a forever with. You gave me hope that we could grow into our roles as soulmates. I actually called you my soulmate, well not to your face. I had just met you in computer class and we couldn't legally go on a field trip without permission let alone try to forge a union.
Give me commands. Clear guidelines. An itemized list of your needs.
You were exactly what I asked for. A carbon copy straight out of my mind. I should have been more careful.
When I tell you I love you, it doesn't mean we go together now. It doesn't mean I want your children. It doesn't mean I need to meet your family. I love you means I love who you are as a person. I have surpassed like and landed on love.
If you could, please disregard the previous letter left on your pillow. That has too much hubris dripping. Too much anger. Too many other emotions that negatively influenced the creation of that notice.
This is your eviction notice. Your placeholder, an unattainable musician, is helping me move your memories. Not sure where they'll go but at this point, I don't want to know.
I'm sick of the men in their feelings and not knowing how harmful and/or annoying they are with them.
You could be a better man, slay dragons, discover the greatest side of yourself. I could put you on the path of soul repair. I'm the kind of woman who makes real power players. I could be your Claire, Mr. Underwood.