The day your father told me that you were on your way, I told him that nothing is about him anymore. And maybe that’s a rude thing to say but honestly I will put you above him solely off the fact that you are a child. You didn’t ask to be created by a guy who loves perceived freedom more than doing the right thing and the girl who got swept up in it. Your presence might grow these two up. That’s the power that you wield. That power will grow as you make your way into the world.
I’m not sure of how your family dynamic will go, whether your parents will stay together, if your father will be the father you need him to be, or if your mother will judge you for being yourself whoever you may be. I can’t tell you that you won’t get bullied for something stupid or that you won’t be frustrated with life. I don’t want to be the aunt that lies to you.
As you grow inside your mother’s womb, know that things are being prepared just for you. Know that your aunt on your dad’s side is waiting to shower you with love and acceptance. Know that I am always just a call away.
You were eager like I used to be. 16 was the time of overindulging and man did I! I was addicted to having someone on my arm.
You were the first person I wanted to make a forever with. You gave me hope that we could grow into our roles as soulmates. I actually called you my soulmate, well not to your face. I had just met you in computer class and we couldn't legally go on a field trip without permission let alone try to forge a union.
Give me commands. Clear guidelines. An itemized list of your needs.
You were exactly what I asked for. A carbon copy straight out of my mind. I should have been more careful.
When I tell you I love you, it doesn't mean we go together now. It doesn't mean I want your children. It doesn't mean I need to meet your family. I love you means I love who you are as a person. I have surpassed like and landed on love.
If you could, please disregard the previous letter left on your pillow. That has too much hubris dripping. Too much anger. Too many other emotions that negatively influenced the creation of that notice.
This is your eviction notice. Your placeholder, an unattainable musician, is helping me move your memories. Not sure where they'll go but at this point, I don't want to know.
I'm sick of the men in their feelings and not knowing how harmful and/or annoying they are with them.
You could be a better man, slay dragons, discover the greatest side of yourself. I could put you on the path of soul repair. I'm the kind of woman who makes real power players. I could be your Claire, Mr. Underwood.