Chapter 14

Today I've learned how stagnant I feel.

 Soap on my face, looking away from everything. Or just giving a side profile.

Soap on my face, looking away from everything. Or just giving a side profile.

I'm not in a good space right now. I could list a number of things that have contributed to this sinking feeling growing in me. Hell I was going to write about the guy I happened to fall for. And about the fact that one of my coworkers is damn near channelling my mother in some of the worst ways. But that wouldn't change the situations with either person.

They aren't the reasons why I feel unsatisfied and want to retreat from everything. I haven't been doing enough to feed my self esteem. The only thing I have been doing is try to drown it in sex and liquor. I don't want to think about my career, my body or the strength of my mental health.

I know this will turn into something unhealthy if I keep this up. I don't want to keep finding a new man to be ok with my body because it'll fill a hole I should be filling. And I can't keep being sad over not being further in my career. I just have to work harder.

This week, starting today, I'm going back to the gym. And I'm working on securing some professional ideas. You guys know I have no clue what's to come. But I'm open to ideas and suggestions on how to get out of a rut. See you on the next chapter.

Evon Williams

Washington, DC

Lover. Writer. Budding PR/Marketing Consultant. Emotional and Mental Growth enthusiast. Sex Positive Supporter.

You can find me @goddessevon on most social media sites.