Today I've learned that I deserve to go on a break.
So I may have mentioned this before but I am in an open relationship, in particular a polyamorous one. This means my partner and I are free to date and sleep with other people so long as we are both informed about it. If you're interested, I'll write more about it at another time.
I've been connecting with a good amount of people. Some have been short conversations that led to nothing. Some have been first and last dates. Some have turned into being added to my rotation. Yes I had a rotation at one point. Then I fell for a guy and fucked up everything. No one could measure up to him but he left me feeling like I was supposed to pry out his feelings for me.
Then I started dealing with a guy who says he has a pass to do what he wants so long as his girl doesn't hear or see anything. It's also supposed to stop once they get engaged. Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me but it's not my relationship. I don't want more than comraderie and an orgasm from him but I always seem to get either 1 of the 2 or neither. Last weekend, he got a selfish hookup session and I got to be his therapist.
When I get annoyed with those men, I try to find someone new. If not a friend then at least a decent fuck. Unfortunately I end up getting gratuitous dick pics and indecisive date ideas.
I'm tired of giving and receiving a slap on the back and a question about what time I need to leave. Maybe I'm choosing the wrong ones. Or maybe it's time to stop choosing anyone other than myself for a while. Because these dudes ain't worth my time, energy nor emotions.