As I became an adult, it became evident that I needed a full time job. So I did what most people do: apply for jobs. Among the sea of no's ranging from "You're not the right fit at this time" to silence, a staffing agency gave me a callback for an interview. Praise the most high because my bank account was looking pitiful. At this time I was still in my mother's home and as a new adult I asked her for advice on my outfit choice. I can still remember the way her face scrunched up when she asked about my hair. I was confused since I asked about my blazer while she was fixated on my full time natural hair. Her words were something like "No one will hire you with your hair looking like that."
It took me a few years to figure out how much internal racism she handed out for free. But this comment urged me to ask other women of color about their hair journeys in the workplace. I wasn't the only one who was encouraged to straighten my locks in the name of professionalism. Even laws have been passed to discriminate against natural hair. It doesn't make sense. My hair doesn't change the fact that I can get the job done. Straight hair doesn't keep people from being mediocre either.
If I can walk into a new job wearing my most professional clothes just to see my manager in sweatpants, then I shouldn't hear anything about my puffed out ponytail. These clients will be greeted with respect. These emails will get responded to. This report has been my superior's desk since they left early last Friday. As long as my hair isn't shedding or blocking the view of my work, we can make this office bearable for the next 8 hours.
The strength it takes for me to answer these questions without either a scowl or with one sentence shows how much I've grown. But there are too many people asking me the same questions in the most life draining cycle ever. So I've comprised a cute list with answers they hopefully will remember for years to come. Feel free to take these answers for your own chorus of busy bodies in your life if the answers apply to you.
A prominent memory from my adolescence was debating with boys who had it worse in life. The variables would change weekly but the point remained: someone has to lose and I'd like to know who it is. There used to be a sense of pride that would swell up whenever I would reason my opponent into submission. But after living through some colorful romantic experiences, I started wondering how that mindset molded my outlook on relationships and love.
I'm a petty, neurotic and indecisive woman who likes a variety of things you probably don't care about. Why? Because I'm attractive enough for you to fantasize about but not attractive enough to make you want to fight for your honor. I'm also marginally intelligent but let's be real, you saw my photo and decided to ignore anything I may have typed here.
I'm not about to assume y'all know me so I'll just tell you what today is. Today is my birthday. As the title gives away, yes I am 24. I've made a lot of decisions, met a lot of people and spent a lot of time learning about this here life I have. Now it's time to sit down at this desk and give you all some golden nuggets I've picked up on the way.
Yes, some of the great things we do positively effect how we view ourselves. But aren't we tired of trying to be holier-than-thou all the time? It must get lonely on top of that throne. From there, everyone looks like heathens who are unworthy of the king's presence. They need insert-personal-moral-compass-here to be around him. If you're rolling your eyes at the thought of it, congratulations, you have vices and are relatable.
Whether it's my family members, coworkers or my beautician, everyone wants to know what's going on with my plans. Where are my offspring and husband?! It doesn't matter if I have ideas about other aspects of my life.
For the majority of my life, someone has tried to curb my adoration for curse words. Every reason from every person has fallen under these statements:
If I get too busy, overwhelmed or procrastinate too hard, you will not see me for weeks. I retreat and regroup. I go ghost.