No, not like Omari Hardwick on Power.
No, not like Casper. Although I am friendly.
No, not like I'm afraid of people. I'm not that introverted.
If I get too busy, overwhelmed or procrastinate too hard, you will not see me for weeks. I retreat and regroup. I go ghost. And I used to love that shit. I would smile to myself when I met new people and they wouldn't know how long I was on campus. It's like I was playing a game no one knew they were playing. It's because they didn't.
It's no fun when you have no one to call because no one knows you. It sucks because I like to go places that almost require you to have a friend. Who wants to play laser tag with a ghost?
So now I'm on the hunt for ways I can trick myself into being more outgoing because I've realized something about floating around this world without a trace. The worst part is that my consistency is lost. Once that's gone, so is my credibility. No one can trust that I'll be there when I've routinely shown how easily I can leave at the drop of a hat. When I think of it that way, it makes me want to be better.
I've also realized that it applies to everything in my life. Not just cultivating friendships but with finding a better job, keeping up with this blog, gym routines and overall self care. They all fall by the wayside when I disappear. I'm fucking around and missing my blessing being gone. So I say all of that to say, don't be like me. Not right now. Because right now, I still have trash behavior.
The strength it takes for me to answer these questions without either a scowl or with one sentence shows how much I've grown. But there are too many people asking me the same questions in the most life draining cycle ever. So I've comprised a cute list with answers they hopefully will remember for years to come. Feel free to take these answers for your own chorus of busy bodies in your life if the answers apply to you.
A prominent memory from my adolescence was debating with boys who had it worse in life. The variables would change weekly but the point remained: someone has to lose and I'd like to know who it is. There used to be a sense of pride that would swell up whenever I would reason my opponent into submission. But after living through some colorful romantic experiences, I started wondering how that mindset molded my outlook on relationships and love.
I'm a petty, neurotic and indecisive woman who likes a variety of things you probably don't care about. Why? Because I'm attractive enough for you to fantasize about but not attractive enough to make you want to fight for your honor. I'm also marginally intelligent but let's be real, you saw my photo and decided to ignore anything I may have typed here.
I'm not about to assume y'all know me so I'll just tell you what today is. Today is my birthday. As the title gives away, yes I am 24. I've made a lot of decisions, met a lot of people and spent a lot of time learning about this here life I have. Now it's time to sit down at this desk and give you all some golden nuggets I've picked up on the way.
Yes, some of the great things we do positively effect how we view ourselves. But aren't we tired of trying to be holier-than-thou all the time? It must get lonely on top of that throne. From there, everyone looks like heathens who are unworthy of the king's presence. They need insert-personal-moral-compass-here to be around him. If you're rolling your eyes at the thought of it, congratulations, you have vices and are relatable.
Whether it's my family members, coworkers or my beautician, everyone wants to know what's going on with my plans. Where are my offspring and husband?! It doesn't matter if I have ideas about other aspects of my life.
For the majority of my life, someone has tried to curb my adoration for curse words. Every reason from every person has fallen under these statements:
If I get too busy, overwhelmed or procrastinate too hard, you will not see me for weeks. I retreat and regroup. I go ghost.